Have you ever walked into a room and immediately felt that you didn’t belong there?
For many people who identify as Disabled, neurodivergent, or part of the BIPOC community, this feeling isn’t occasional—it’s a daily reality. Unfortunately, this experience does not stop at the therapy door. Psychotherapy has historically been one of the most exclusive spaces, shaped around the needs and norms of the able-bodied, white, cisgender male. For those living outside of that framework, therapy has often felt inaccessible, invalidating, or even harmful.
I’m not here to give a history lesson. I am here to emphasize why accessible, inclusive, and affirming care is not optional—it is essential.
“Okay, Jessica… So What Do I Do?”
First and foremost: listen.
We are trained to listen to understand, not to respond. Yet for many therapists, that training seems to falter the moment a client names a need for affirming care or shares experiences of discrimination or microaggressions. Tension can arise. A performance mindset can take over. Suddenly, therapy becomes about getting it right instead of staying present.
Before the first session has even begun, the client’s experience is already being filtered through assumptions, defensiveness, or fear of making a mistake.
Listening ahead—anticipating, reacting, or preparing a response—creates distance. True listening requires curiosity, humility, and a willingness to sit with discomfort. Listen to understand, not to fix, defend, or explain.
For Clients
You have every right to ask your therapist about their training, lived experience, and approach to accessibility, inclusion, and affirming care. A therapist who practices affirming care will not be threatened by these questions. They will be honest about what they know—and what they are still learning.
It is also okay to say no to continuing with a therapist if you find yourself doing most of the educating about your own identity, disability, or lived experience. That kind of emotional labor is real, and it is exhausting.
It is not your job to teach your therapist how to be inclusive, trauma-informed, or affirming. Therapy should be a space where you are supported—not one where you must constantly explain or justify your existence.
Moving Forward
Accessible and affirming psychotherapy begins with humility, accountability, and a genuine commitment to listening. When therapists are willing to examine their assumptions and clients are empowered to advocate for themselves, therapy can become what it was always meant to be: a space of safety, respect, and healing.
— Jessica Koury, Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying)
